"For everything you have missed, you have gained something else, and for everything you gain, you lose something else."
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

As I was at work today, I realized that I said "ya'll" to my new co-worker just 5 minutes shy of explaining how to pronounce "E Komo Mai" (Welcome in Hawaiian) and talking about my growing up in Baltimore. Then on the ride home today, my iPhone music shuffle picked up a previously abandoned Muse song added to my collection years ago by an ex-boyfriend I haven't talked to in forever. I was never into Muse. At all. And suddenly I liked this song. And the others from its album.

It got me thinking about how I've changed in the almost 7 months since I've moved to Hawaii. I decided my list was long enough to warrant being written down (and laughed at). So here it is:

 Things I’ve Lost since Hawaii:

• One less non-broken bone. (I broke my toe last month when my sister came to visit. I was unsure if I really did at the time but a month later it’s still sore so I think that is a yes. Not a big deal, but I’ve never really broken anything before. There goes that winning point in the  “Never Have I Ever” game.)
• My single status…er, well engaged status. 
• My last name
• My Maryland license (I do miss that little blue crab on it but my huge rainbow is pretty awesome.)
• My tolerance for cold weather (I freeze when I walk in air condition now. I took two sweaters with me to breakfast this morning because I was shaking the second I walked in the door!)
• My stereotype of military life & wives
• My need to wear socks ever again (Long live flipflops.)
• My car (Still heave a little sigh every time a silver Toyota Echo with all 4 missing hubcaps drives by.)
• A few checked off items on my life goals list (Get Married, Drink Champagne on an Airplane, Get a Drivers License from Another State, Visit Hawaii- that was number 2 on my list!
• Contact with a few people I probably wasn’t meant to stay in touch with anyway (…so no real loss there.)
• Any desire EVER to waitress again. (In fact I’m considering gouging my eyes out with forks before doing so again. I still have nightmares from my one evening spent working in Outback where the words “NEVER AGAIN!!” echoed through my mind all night like a crazy person.)
• Any sense of consistent dialect (I still say, “hon” from Baltimore, “ya’ll” from Charleston, and now end every sentence with “yah?” from Hawaiian pidgin. Plus I really like to say “Aloha!” )
• Two bank accounts. (No Bank of America’s or Baltimore County Credit Unions here.)
• My white pasty complexion and dry skin (Don’t miss either ONE bit!)
• My previous favorite necklace (A mother of pearl four leaf clover I paid a quarter for at a flea market when I was 10 and a horse-shoe charm with “Good luck” written in it I bought for myself when I moved out of my mom’s house officially for the first time…come to think of it that’s probably not good luck.)
• 2 Tupperware lids. (No clue where they went. Wonder if you can order that specifically….Hmm.)
  

Things I’ve gained since Hawaii:

• A wedding band
• A husband (!!!)
• A boatload (literally) of friends
• A tan J
• Greta (My “new” car…a ’99 beat-up aqua-colored Toyota Corolla who acts kind of fussy sometimes and likes to tease me by putting on her Check Engine light every 3 weeks or so but still kinda feels like a caring, worried Grandma.)
• One more state added to my roster of states visited (Now at 44!)
• A HOUSE of our own!
• An insatiable desire to bake cupcakes frequently (And an even more house-wifey obsession for cute little aprons. I think I used to watch Girls Next Door to often- you know how Holly always dressed up for doing silly little things? Totally becoming me.)
• An appreciation for always having lived on Eastern Standard Time….and an anger for when companies on EST call me at 2am.
• 14 new bikinis
• A passion for non-profit work & at least for now a job that makes me pretty happy
• A big expensive white dress
• Occasional awesome care packages from Mom (Which ALWAYS contain about 15-25 dog treat coupons which show me where her loyalty really lies.)
• A new pen pal- my sister!
• A new language (Well, not completely, but I do know a LOT of words now. Plus, ever since moving here I made myself say every single street name in Hawaiian out loud to practice and I have a real knack for Hawaiian pronunciation now I think….although I did JUST learn how to pronounce my street name after 6 months of saying it wrong. Oops.)
• An amazing new ability to “man up” and handle tools. (I’ve hung pictures, drilled, and even assembled a TV stand…in only 4 hours….um.)
• A new love for red wine. I currently have 5 opened bottles. (Sorry, Mom.)
• A newfound appreciation for military wives (and kids)
• A longing for Charleston I didn’t know I had.
• An herb garden (Which reminds me…I’m having fresh eggplant for dinner tonight!)
• An underlying fear of tsunamis (following “The Tsunami That Wasn’t” back in February. I still keep meaning to buy a tshirt that says I survived the February 27th Tsunami.)
  

My Constants:

• My dog Maggie. (Don’t know how I’d survive deployment without that dog. The neighbors seriously must think I’m nuts. I raced her down my street back to our house the other day, the whole while yelling at her like I would to a person: “I’m going to beat you. I’m almost there. Ha! In your face!” I did beat her but it was close. …Only to see my neighbor across the street outside looking at me and smiling awkwardly. Ooops.)
• My family.
• My hair color.
• My love for beaches….actually that has definitely increased with the overabundance of clear, turquoise waters and white sand beaches, and trade winds that keep the weather perfectly balanced….(Sorry. ;)  )
• My silver palmetto palm tree necklace I got at Rainbow Street Market in downtown Charleston that I pretty much wear all the time.
• My phone number. (I’ve had it since I was 17. 410 forever, baby. Although I am forcing Nick to convert from his 314 St Louis area code. Sorry, Nick.)
• My slight obsession with photography. (Only now it’s developed into an obsession with iPhone photography apps.)
• My appreciation for Maryland crabcakes, cream of crab soup, and Old Bay. (If someone tells you Old Bay does not go with everything they are WRONG!)
• My love for Nick…I take that back. That’s definitely changed. I only miss him and love him more every day.

You have to let go of some things to make room for others…but in the case of my two missing Tupperware lids I’m not entirely sure that’s true. But for the most part change has been good to me.

I couldn’t be a more happily married woman. Unless Nick was home from deployment but I’m taking one day at a time. And twice in the past two weeks I have had comments from two different people that couldn’t believe my age. Not that I’m old by any means but it was nice they thought I was a college kid.

Enough reflections. I need to go race my dog around the block. Aloha! ;)

I am officially a Hawaiian "kama'aina" (local) resident.
It's been a process the last few weeks to get the marriage license and gradually get everything changed over to my new name. I was waiting to get my marriage license so that I could just change my name at the same time I got my drivers license.

I also knew there was a written test involved with getting my new license (even if you're transferring from another state!) and I wanted to study up first. Turns out I probably tried too hard but I am still glad I studied a bit- there were a couple of Hawaii specific questions on the multiple choice test. For example, I now know that you can leave a child in a car here for up to five minutes, regardless of age...even though that probably doesn't like the best decision.

It's been a crazy week too.

I started two jobs! Then I broke up with one....Let me start over.
I got a job at a restaurant in Kapolei, pretty close to where I live, right before the wedding. I didn't think much of it- I've gotten so used to picking up restaurant jobs wherever I go. It's not that I haven't been trying to find something more stable- I definitely have. But right before I was supposed to start it hit me that I was once again going to drown in the restaurant business.

I'll be super honest with you. I'm not a great waitress. I'm actually probably pretty bad. BUT I'm nice. And I feel horrible when I do forget stuff (which happens frequently- I need to write EVERYthing down). And I've worked in restaurants for 4 years so I know how they run now. All those things help make up for being so bad at it. I'm usually good with keeping a pretty positive attitude with doing any job. But the idea of waitressing yet again was starting to depress me.

I worked one night of training. The day I was scheduled to come in next I finally called them and said it wasn't going to work out. I felt horrible, but I'd feel even worse working there.

I'm glad I made the decision to break up with them..I got called back from the temp agency about some open positions and interviewed the next day. I was supposed to have two interviews but just loved the first one so much I knew it was the right decision.

I actually start tomorrow as admin at a non-profit org in downtown Honolulu. It's only part-time but I really think I'm going to enjoy being there and I feel really confident about being able to do the job well....better than waitressing!

You know, on a slightly different subject, I sometimes can go a lot of the day working around the house, or job-hunting online, or just doing little normal things, but then I look outside and see the gorgeous blue skies and white puffy clouds and perfect weather and am reminded of how LUCKY I am to be here. It's incredible.

It's a bit discouraging to think of ever living anywhere ever again that will live up to these standards. And it makes me laugh to think how much I loved going to Ocean City, Maryland all the time...3 hours away from home with its dark, cold water. Now, granted, the awesome thing about OC was that it was a tradition to go there so you became familiar with the places, the people. It was a Maryland thing.

It's amazing living within 15 minutes of two really gorgeous beaches and within an hour of so many beaches I couldn't even count....with clear, turquoise water and clean sand. There's no distinct smell in the air. I got so used to smelling exhaust all the time in Maryland. There's always a wonderful breeze here to help cool you off. And the water is always the perfect temperature. It's just incredible. I feel so lucky. There are so many cool places to go here. The possibilities are nearly endless. Nick and I took a trip along the west side of Oahu a few weeks ago. Then the next day we drove along the east coast of the island and up to some really cool spots along North Shore. Matsumoto's Shave Ice was one of the places I was so excited to go to. The lines for it are incredible. It's world famous. In fact, Adam Sandler even wore a Matusmoto's t-shirt in 50 First Dates .

This weekend was a complete beach weekend. I literally just spent most of yesterday and a lot of today lying on the beach reading a book and taking a dip when I got too hot. Of course being here has its downsides. Nick isn't here now. I haven't talked to him in a week. And even more unfortunately, I can't talk about him- when he's leaving, when he's returning, where he is going. I can only say that he's gone. That little thought is the nagging thing in my head that reminds me everything isn't perfect.

Yet still, I have already made such amazing friends. I didn't expect that at all actually. I was nervous about Navy life and making friends. I was afraid that it would be like a sorority. I was in a sorority and while I was in it, I believed everything the sorority taught us about sisterhood and about friendship. Sure, I wasn't best friends with everyone but you were still friendly with everyone regardless. I found out after I got out that everything I believed in wasn't real. Most of these people weren't really my friends. The idea of suddenly being part of a group where suddenly everyone is nice to you reminded me of that experience.

But the Navy wives are different. I love how we all truly have something in common that cannot be faked- our love for our husbands. That brings a certain realistic approach to everything we do, I think. And I love how we've all been brought together. All of our stories are so different and most of never thought we would end up as military wives, nonetheless living in Hawaii. They're amazing women I'm glad I've gotten to know and it really makes me optimistic about being here and about the whole experience of being married to a Navy guy.

Okay...enough seriousness. How cool is it I have an awesome rainbow on my ID now? ;)