Nick and I celebrated our two year wedding anniversary last month, with me in Hawaii and him somewhere underwater out in the Pacific Ocean.

As a military wife, I hear this comment about as frequently as a vegan gets asked “But what do you do for protein?” Which is a lot.

It can be difficult to explain what being a military spouse means and I’m sure it means different things to different people because there are so many kinds of jobs and situations. It’s a different type of worry every day. Sometimes it’s the slow steady worry. Sometimes it’s the instant worry and burst of adrenaline when you hear something has happened or is going to happen. Maybe it’s a constant level of crazy-manic worry, especially for some of those jobs that are really secretive. Maybe it’s all of those things combined all the time. (I’m not saying there aren’t jobs or situations out there other than military that are similar in worry. I know there are. But because I can’t speak from experience for those, this one is about being a military spouse.)

(Note: Even though I refer to wife/husband/spouse in this blog, by no means is this an exclusive term. It’s just easier than saying husband/wife/fiancé/fiancée/girlfriend/boyfriend every time. This blog is for all military relationships and loves, straight or gay, married, engaged, or in love, period. And credit should be given where it is due; the non-married relationships, which are not recognized in the military can be the hardest by far. More often than not they go unsupported by other married military spouses and groups and are some of the last to know in case of emergency as they are not legally considered to be “Next of Kin.” They often move hundreds of miles across the country and across the world on their own expense for the one they love, again often with no recognition or support from the military. They often have little to no access to the things in our lives that do make being a military spouse a little bit easier, such as commissaries, health insurance, military bank accounts, military housing, support groups, FRG or military spouse meetings, vital news, and so on.

So if you hear someone is in a relationship with someone else in the military, respect what they must go through, all because they care about someone.) 

It takes a lot of trust to know your spouse is travelling overseas, sometimes to places that are known for rampant prostitution and other dangerous or tempting situations. The same goes for us. Amidst stories of military wives participating in scandalous events while their husbands are deployed, our guys have to trust that we are there for them 100% from the time they board their plane/ship/submarine to the moment they step back into your arms. In life as a general rule, you should never put yourself into situations that you wouldn’t feel comfortable telling your spouse or your family about.  

Whether they’re here with us some of the time or deployed most of the time our military spouses depend on us for support when they’re stressed or under pressure and for respect when they just need to focus on doing their jobs.
 
The support stretches to us as the waiting spouses as well. Our spouses need to understand what we go through while they are doing their jobs, the stress we endure moving from place to place, and the responsibility of caring for things that they are unable to.

In addition every person who is in a healthy, loving, non-threatening relationship deserves to have the support of their friends and family for that relationship. Especially during those high-stress moments of deployment when the cable/electric/bank/school/insurance/miscellaneous company refuses to talk to you because they don’t acknowledge your Power of Attorney or understand your husband is NOT here right now. Those are the times we need someone to talk to about it. Even if you don’t entirely understand, we just need someone who is willing to respect us and listen to us when our spouse isn’t always able to do so. 

Gearing up for a deployment for my husband, the submariner, I cycle through a lot of emotions. We don’t get to send mail to the guys while they’re deployed. Occasionally a wife who is planning on visiting the guys at a port during deployment will make a letter drop. But that’s exactly what it is - a letter drop. I can’t send a package and I’m limited to a small, very flat letter so as not to take up a lot of room in someone’s suitcase. I don’t get to talk to my husband on Skype unless he is in port (and has reliable Wi-Fi), which is only a few times during deployment.

What I am allowed is an email or two a week with no attachments or pictures, and even that is limited because I know it will be read by at least one if not several other people before his eyes see it. Obviously I can’t put anything in those emails that I wouldn’t want someone else reading, and I am also unable to mention anything that would negatively affect him emotionally, i.e. financial problems, deaths in the family, accidents, etc.. An email with a mention of any of those things can and probably will be flagged. If something happened to me or one of his family members, there’s a good chance my husband would not be allowed to know about it until he pulls into the next port, for fear of endangering his mental ability to do his job.

Because of these reasons, a few months before deployment I’m actually cycling through all the emotions of actually being in the midst of deployment as I write out letters and prepare packages and love notes in advance for my husband to take along with him on his journey, to be opened up a little bit at a time to provide him with support along the way. The fun part? I can’t tell other people because I am not allowed to talk about the dates or times of an impending deployment to pretty much anyone other than one of the wives from the boat, and that can only be discussed in person. No emails, texting, phone calls, Skyping, or Tweeting/Facebooking to complain that my husband will soon be leaving me to go on deployment.

During this time it’s the most important to communicate with my husband and for him to communicate to me. It can become really easy to cut off yourself emotionally. I know this sounds weird, but it’s unfortunately a great defense for emotional preparation. Putting up an emotional wall with him so it won’t hurt as much while he is deployed can happen really easily, but it’s then that it becomes most important to love harder and talk to each other more about how each other feels.

The thing I learned after a few disheveled relationships, none of which ended very well, is that I am a highly emotional person. (I know you’re thinking, “What woman isn’t?”) I can get very passionate about causes, movies, animals….You name it. I don’t know how else to explain that. The most important way I can explain is that I learned that someone else who as erratic and as emotional as I am does not make a good match for me. And what I realized is that, while I want someone in my life who cares about causes and feelings as much as I do, I need someone who will ground me emotionally and will think before acting or speaking.

That is what Nick is to me. He is Ying to my Yang. He balances me in a way that I will never fully understand, and in that way he is truly my other half. Because he is my other half, if I stop to think about it too much it feels like half of me is missing all the time, every day while he is gone. 

But in that same way, Nick is always with me. The couch cushion where Nick usually sits while watching TV with me remains unoccupied because I see him there sitting beside me.

It’s blasphemy to sleep on the other side of the bed. I tried it once, just out of a crazy concern that my mattress would become unbalanced. I spent that night restless. It was terrible. It felt wrong, and I kept waking up the whole night confused. Now I remain on my side - because the other side is and always will be Nick’s. 

That shirt he took off and threw on the couch one day a few months ago? That’s staying stuffed lost in the couch cushions. Sorry, visiting friends. (Though if it starts to smell, I promise I’ll wash it. Maybe.)

I still purposely put my makeup on his side of the sink picturing him giving me faux dirty looks and making little frustrated sighs as he moves it all back to my side. (I can’t help it- it spreads on its own.) His shaving brush and after shave remain untouched, albeit a bit dusty on his side of the sink as well. 

I won’t touch his favorite coffee or especially his coffee mug.  

When I watch something I know Nick would love, I imagine his expressions or comments while watching it. And if I remember a funny joke or hear about something he would love, I immediately stick it in an email or on his Facebook wall so he is reminded of the bunch of little things that made me think of him. 

And I won’t even get started talking about the little project I began for him while he is gone, in case he’s reading. A few of my friends know about it, and I’ll announce it when he returns. For now, it’s fun keeping it a secret. But it’s a way of keeping him in my thoughts, even when he isn’t actually here. ;)

Nick is my best friend, my go-to person I am so happy to share my life with.

It can be hard for some people to love someone who isn’t around much but it just makes it that much more important to love harder. My husband needs to know that he is the only one in my life and that I will be there still loving him and caring for him when he returns home. Love shouldn’t fade just because I can’t see his face in person every day.

A marriage is not easy. Love isn’t easy. No relationship is. You have to work at it. You have to surround yourself with pictures and reminders of your love and to do your best to surround your spouse with happy thoughts. It’s important, vital for him to know that I am in love with him, and that an ocean apart and several hundred or thousand miles will not alter that love.

That’s what it really comes down to. Loving, honoring, and respecting that individual with all your heart every day. Isn’t that what marriage vows mean anyway?

No marriage is perfect, including my own. And a military marriage is kind of like a marriage on steroids. But just remember that every single one of those sad, low moments makes all the happy ones, like seeing your love for the first time in months, just that much better. And that first Homecoming kiss makes it all worth while. :) 

"For everything you have missed, you have gained something else, and for everything you gain, you lose something else."
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

As I was at work today, I realized that I said "ya'll" to my new co-worker just 5 minutes shy of explaining how to pronounce "E Komo Mai" (Welcome in Hawaiian) and talking about my growing up in Baltimore. Then on the ride home today, my iPhone music shuffle picked up a previously abandoned Muse song added to my collection years ago by an ex-boyfriend I haven't talked to in forever. I was never into Muse. At all. And suddenly I liked this song. And the others from its album.

It got me thinking about how I've changed in the almost 7 months since I've moved to Hawaii. I decided my list was long enough to warrant being written down (and laughed at). So here it is:

 Things I’ve Lost since Hawaii:

• One less non-broken bone. (I broke my toe last month when my sister came to visit. I was unsure if I really did at the time but a month later it’s still sore so I think that is a yes. Not a big deal, but I’ve never really broken anything before. There goes that winning point in the  “Never Have I Ever” game.)
• My single status…er, well engaged status. 
• My last name
• My Maryland license (I do miss that little blue crab on it but my huge rainbow is pretty awesome.)
• My tolerance for cold weather (I freeze when I walk in air condition now. I took two sweaters with me to breakfast this morning because I was shaking the second I walked in the door!)
• My stereotype of military life & wives
• My need to wear socks ever again (Long live flipflops.)
• My car (Still heave a little sigh every time a silver Toyota Echo with all 4 missing hubcaps drives by.)
• A few checked off items on my life goals list (Get Married, Drink Champagne on an Airplane, Get a Drivers License from Another State, Visit Hawaii- that was number 2 on my list!
• Contact with a few people I probably wasn’t meant to stay in touch with anyway (…so no real loss there.)
• Any desire EVER to waitress again. (In fact I’m considering gouging my eyes out with forks before doing so again. I still have nightmares from my one evening spent working in Outback where the words “NEVER AGAIN!!” echoed through my mind all night like a crazy person.)
• Any sense of consistent dialect (I still say, “hon” from Baltimore, “ya’ll” from Charleston, and now end every sentence with “yah?” from Hawaiian pidgin. Plus I really like to say “Aloha!” )
• Two bank accounts. (No Bank of America’s or Baltimore County Credit Unions here.)
• My white pasty complexion and dry skin (Don’t miss either ONE bit!)
• My previous favorite necklace (A mother of pearl four leaf clover I paid a quarter for at a flea market when I was 10 and a horse-shoe charm with “Good luck” written in it I bought for myself when I moved out of my mom’s house officially for the first time…come to think of it that’s probably not good luck.)
• 2 Tupperware lids. (No clue where they went. Wonder if you can order that specifically….Hmm.)
  

Things I’ve gained since Hawaii:

• A wedding band
• A husband (!!!)
• A boatload (literally) of friends
• A tan J
• Greta (My “new” car…a ’99 beat-up aqua-colored Toyota Corolla who acts kind of fussy sometimes and likes to tease me by putting on her Check Engine light every 3 weeks or so but still kinda feels like a caring, worried Grandma.)
• One more state added to my roster of states visited (Now at 44!)
• A HOUSE of our own!
• An insatiable desire to bake cupcakes frequently (And an even more house-wifey obsession for cute little aprons. I think I used to watch Girls Next Door to often- you know how Holly always dressed up for doing silly little things? Totally becoming me.)
• An appreciation for always having lived on Eastern Standard Time….and an anger for when companies on EST call me at 2am.
• 14 new bikinis
• A passion for non-profit work & at least for now a job that makes me pretty happy
• A big expensive white dress
• Occasional awesome care packages from Mom (Which ALWAYS contain about 15-25 dog treat coupons which show me where her loyalty really lies.)
• A new pen pal- my sister!
• A new language (Well, not completely, but I do know a LOT of words now. Plus, ever since moving here I made myself say every single street name in Hawaiian out loud to practice and I have a real knack for Hawaiian pronunciation now I think….although I did JUST learn how to pronounce my street name after 6 months of saying it wrong. Oops.)
• An amazing new ability to “man up” and handle tools. (I’ve hung pictures, drilled, and even assembled a TV stand…in only 4 hours….um.)
• A new love for red wine. I currently have 5 opened bottles. (Sorry, Mom.)
• A newfound appreciation for military wives (and kids)
• A longing for Charleston I didn’t know I had.
• An herb garden (Which reminds me…I’m having fresh eggplant for dinner tonight!)
• An underlying fear of tsunamis (following “The Tsunami That Wasn’t” back in February. I still keep meaning to buy a tshirt that says I survived the February 27th Tsunami.)
  

My Constants:

• My dog Maggie. (Don’t know how I’d survive deployment without that dog. The neighbors seriously must think I’m nuts. I raced her down my street back to our house the other day, the whole while yelling at her like I would to a person: “I’m going to beat you. I’m almost there. Ha! In your face!” I did beat her but it was close. …Only to see my neighbor across the street outside looking at me and smiling awkwardly. Ooops.)
• My family.
• My hair color.
• My love for beaches….actually that has definitely increased with the overabundance of clear, turquoise waters and white sand beaches, and trade winds that keep the weather perfectly balanced….(Sorry. ;)  )
• My silver palmetto palm tree necklace I got at Rainbow Street Market in downtown Charleston that I pretty much wear all the time.
• My phone number. (I’ve had it since I was 17. 410 forever, baby. Although I am forcing Nick to convert from his 314 St Louis area code. Sorry, Nick.)
• My slight obsession with photography. (Only now it’s developed into an obsession with iPhone photography apps.)
• My appreciation for Maryland crabcakes, cream of crab soup, and Old Bay. (If someone tells you Old Bay does not go with everything they are WRONG!)
• My love for Nick…I take that back. That’s definitely changed. I only miss him and love him more every day.

You have to let go of some things to make room for others…but in the case of my two missing Tupperware lids I’m not entirely sure that’s true. But for the most part change has been good to me.

I couldn’t be a more happily married woman. Unless Nick was home from deployment but I’m taking one day at a time. And twice in the past two weeks I have had comments from two different people that couldn’t believe my age. Not that I’m old by any means but it was nice they thought I was a college kid.

Enough reflections. I need to go race my dog around the block. Aloha! ;)

17 Days into deployment.
Not that I'm counting.

Nick left on April 26th for his deployment. I couldn't talk about the date beforehand, and I can't talk about what he will be returning or where he is. But he is gone.
I've actually been doing pretty well. Of course, he was gone for 2 weeks shortly before leaving so 2 weeks is tolerable. I'm not sure how I'll be when 2 months rolls around.

We had a really great couple of days together before Nick left. We did that sunset cruise in Waikiki...it wasn't all it was cracked up to be. The food was just okay (at best) and it was super awkward they sat us at a table with another couple.

I wouldn't have had a huge problem with that but the other couple like didn't even look at us and just kind of ignored us when we introduced ourselves. Awkward. The cruise itself was pretty though. And we got a good laugh when they got an old Japanese tourist up there to dance with the Tahitian hula dancers. :)

The last day he was here we went to Lanikai with our friends Molly and Sam (Sam is also on the boat and Molly and I have been hanging out a lot). They brought their two dogs Winston and Bella and I got to break in my new camera.

Lanikai is definitely my favorite beach on the island. Calm, clear, gorgeous. It's on the other side of the island though- a 45 minute drive from where we live. Ko Olina will remain my favorite beach on this side of the island.

Anyway, Nick and I had a great last few days together before he left. It gets me excited about planning a honeymoon for when he gets back.

And fortunately, since he left I’ve been keeping super busy.

The week Nick left I ended up picking up extra hours at work. With working fulltime, and driving an hour or more each day to and from work, I really didn’t have time to do much but eat, walk the dog, water the lawn, and sleep. Not much time to think.

Also fortunately, the other Navy Wives have been awesome. They really are such great friends to have…and we’re all on the same boat (pun intended).

I got to talk to Nick a few times since he left. He doesn't have a calling card to talk on the phone but he bought a netbook before he left and when they pulled into port only a week after leaving, he was around WIFI so we were able to Skype- way better than the phone anyway. We Skyped about 3 or 4 times before he left that port today...well, technically tomorrow/Monday (they are a day ahead of us).
That was great. Nick even got Maggie to SIT via Skype. She looked confused when he said the command but she followed instructions.

Now that he has left that port, it will be a few weeks at least before I get to talk to him again.

I have a bunch of little goals set for while Nick is gone. One of the major ones (which I haven’t started yet) is that I really want to start writing a book. I also really want to learn to play guitar but I don’t currently have a guitar. And there are way too many other things I want for the house before a guitar comes into play.

The most important (and most accomplishable) goals involve the house.

We got grass seeds planted before Nick left since the 6 inch “plugs” of grass are taking so long to spread. We hoped this would help move things along a little. They’re all starting to shoot up, and it’s just so darn cute!

When I was little I loved to plant and grow things..it happened accidentally when I made an acorn-sawdust pie and it started growing. I thought it was the coolest thing! So I loved to grow catnip, Chia pets, aloe vera, and whatever else my mom would let me. When we moved to Charleston I was super excited to get a fern. I don’t know why. I just was. And I brought with me some peppermint plants from my grandma’s house.

Both died pretty quickly. It didn’t help that we were in apartments and they were out on the patio we never went out on. And I don’t think the severe humidity in the summer there helped either. The whole fern-killing experience kind of discouraged me.

But now that I’m seeing little baby grass shoots everywhere it got me excited again!

I bought a fern a few weeks ago- which is still alive!- and named it Bob. He sits perfectly on top of our little Tiki man named Gizmo (doesn’t he look like a Gremlin?) They make a perfectly matched couple.

Yesterday I bought herbs and veggies to plant in the garden area we have sectioned off. I also bought hibiscus plants (bushes?) to put in a really sunny corner of the yard where the grass is dying from too much sun.

Today I dug right in. Literally. I also made 3 trips to Home Depot this week and got cute patio furniture.

After the yard is a bit more together, I’m going to work on the house. We got blinds last week (on the day of my birthday actually) and the house already looks…well, like a real house.

I have some great ideas for splashing the place with some color and some decorating designs I can’t wait to work on. It’s kind of crazy that Nick will be coming home to a completely different looking place- but that’s why I’m excited. This week I’m going to go to Ross and utilize more giftcards by picking out some wall hangings and random decorations. So excited!

It’s still a bummer in some ways to live here though…I know what you’re thinking. “Don’t complain about living in Hawaii!” But when you’re living here- not vacationing here- it really is different.

I mean the cost of living is a given. It’s insane. The isolation is a big downside to the island. It was cool living in Charleston because if I needed to get back home, it was a10 hour drive and Maggie could come with me. Or the plane tickets, in case of emergency, weren’t insane.

Not here.

Having the dog (not that I’m complaining because she’s my best friend and my bed mate right now) limits a lot of things with the island because I can’t take her with me off the island. And plane tickets? Whew. So expensive to get back to the mainland.

But I think the biggest thing with it isn’t that it’s Hawaii- it’s that it’s living in Hawaii while being in the military. As long as we’re in the military, everything is temporary. I was looking at different things I could plant in that sunny corner of the yard and the garden store had lemon trees, lime trees, and navel orange trees….but with our time here I wouldn’t get to appreciate having something like that.

And it’s saddening to think of fixing this place up and putting money into it- knowing that someone else will be living here in 3 years or so.

I definitely appreciate my time here. But I look forward to having a forever house one day, hopefully. A house that I can continue to buy things for it knowing they will be able to stay put. Or picking out patio furniture based on “Do I like it? Is it pretty?” and not “Will it break during our next move?”

But home is home. Despite what Luther Vandross says in his song- a house is not a home when there’s no one there to hold you tight.

My house is still a home. It’s up and coming but it’s still a home. Maggie and I will wait patiently- well, maybe not always patiently but mostly, hopefully- for the day Nick will come HOME.

At the moment anyway. :)

So nice hanging out with my husband (God, that sounds so grown-up!) last night & waking up with him beside me this morning.

It's Saturday...Beach Weekend!

Follow me on Twitter for updates. ;*)

I am officially a Hawaiian "kama'aina" (local) resident.
It's been a process the last few weeks to get the marriage license and gradually get everything changed over to my new name. I was waiting to get my marriage license so that I could just change my name at the same time I got my drivers license.

I also knew there was a written test involved with getting my new license (even if you're transferring from another state!) and I wanted to study up first. Turns out I probably tried too hard but I am still glad I studied a bit- there were a couple of Hawaii specific questions on the multiple choice test. For example, I now know that you can leave a child in a car here for up to five minutes, regardless of age...even though that probably doesn't like the best decision.

It's been a crazy week too.

I started two jobs! Then I broke up with one....Let me start over.
I got a job at a restaurant in Kapolei, pretty close to where I live, right before the wedding. I didn't think much of it- I've gotten so used to picking up restaurant jobs wherever I go. It's not that I haven't been trying to find something more stable- I definitely have. But right before I was supposed to start it hit me that I was once again going to drown in the restaurant business.

I'll be super honest with you. I'm not a great waitress. I'm actually probably pretty bad. BUT I'm nice. And I feel horrible when I do forget stuff (which happens frequently- I need to write EVERYthing down). And I've worked in restaurants for 4 years so I know how they run now. All those things help make up for being so bad at it. I'm usually good with keeping a pretty positive attitude with doing any job. But the idea of waitressing yet again was starting to depress me.

I worked one night of training. The day I was scheduled to come in next I finally called them and said it wasn't going to work out. I felt horrible, but I'd feel even worse working there.

I'm glad I made the decision to break up with them..I got called back from the temp agency about some open positions and interviewed the next day. I was supposed to have two interviews but just loved the first one so much I knew it was the right decision.

I actually start tomorrow as admin at a non-profit org in downtown Honolulu. It's only part-time but I really think I'm going to enjoy being there and I feel really confident about being able to do the job well....better than waitressing!

You know, on a slightly different subject, I sometimes can go a lot of the day working around the house, or job-hunting online, or just doing little normal things, but then I look outside and see the gorgeous blue skies and white puffy clouds and perfect weather and am reminded of how LUCKY I am to be here. It's incredible.

It's a bit discouraging to think of ever living anywhere ever again that will live up to these standards. And it makes me laugh to think how much I loved going to Ocean City, Maryland all the time...3 hours away from home with its dark, cold water. Now, granted, the awesome thing about OC was that it was a tradition to go there so you became familiar with the places, the people. It was a Maryland thing.

It's amazing living within 15 minutes of two really gorgeous beaches and within an hour of so many beaches I couldn't even count....with clear, turquoise water and clean sand. There's no distinct smell in the air. I got so used to smelling exhaust all the time in Maryland. There's always a wonderful breeze here to help cool you off. And the water is always the perfect temperature. It's just incredible. I feel so lucky. There are so many cool places to go here. The possibilities are nearly endless. Nick and I took a trip along the west side of Oahu a few weeks ago. Then the next day we drove along the east coast of the island and up to some really cool spots along North Shore. Matsumoto's Shave Ice was one of the places I was so excited to go to. The lines for it are incredible. It's world famous. In fact, Adam Sandler even wore a Matusmoto's t-shirt in 50 First Dates .

This weekend was a complete beach weekend. I literally just spent most of yesterday and a lot of today lying on the beach reading a book and taking a dip when I got too hot. Of course being here has its downsides. Nick isn't here now. I haven't talked to him in a week. And even more unfortunately, I can't talk about him- when he's leaving, when he's returning, where he is going. I can only say that he's gone. That little thought is the nagging thing in my head that reminds me everything isn't perfect.

Yet still, I have already made such amazing friends. I didn't expect that at all actually. I was nervous about Navy life and making friends. I was afraid that it would be like a sorority. I was in a sorority and while I was in it, I believed everything the sorority taught us about sisterhood and about friendship. Sure, I wasn't best friends with everyone but you were still friendly with everyone regardless. I found out after I got out that everything I believed in wasn't real. Most of these people weren't really my friends. The idea of suddenly being part of a group where suddenly everyone is nice to you reminded me of that experience.

But the Navy wives are different. I love how we all truly have something in common that cannot be faked- our love for our husbands. That brings a certain realistic approach to everything we do, I think. And I love how we've all been brought together. All of our stories are so different and most of never thought we would end up as military wives, nonetheless living in Hawaii. They're amazing women I'm glad I've gotten to know and it really makes me optimistic about being here and about the whole experience of being married to a Navy guy.

Okay...enough seriousness. How cool is it I have an awesome rainbow on my ID now? ;)

It's been an amazing week. I've neglected blogging because frankly I've been enjoying spending time doing really stupid stuff with Nick.

He drove in Wednesday and got in about 11pm. Thursday was Thanksgiving. While pretty much everyone but me at the Rusty Scupper had to work, I got to have Nick spend the first holiday with my family. (Christmas day I'm flying to St Louis to spend Christmas with his family).

We were totally lazy Thanksgiving- aren't you supposed to be? While everyone else was toasting to sparkling cider, I brought two bottles of champagne and had a good time with Nick. I fell asleep (passed out?) on him during the Dallas game (couldn't care less) and woke up to watch Four Christmases with Nick, my sister and brother and law and my brother in law's ex son in law (got that?).

Friday morning my favorite Baltimore radio station 98Rock put on an event called Bacon and Beer/Purple and Black Friday at Hightopps in Timonium, MD to celebrate the upcoming Baltimore Ravens vs. Pittsburgh Steelers game. The event was basically a Kegs and Eggs event- it started at 6am (which is legally when you can serve alcohol in Baltimore County) and had drink specials. 98Rock broadcasted live. It was a blast. I wish Nick had been a bit more into it...he was still feeling the effects of the champagne, the 6 pack of IPA, and a Captain and birch beer (a surprisingly good combo!) from Thanksgiving night. We did get some awesome breakfast food, a load of bacon, and I had two amazing beer-mosas. (Yup, that's right- beer-mosas.)  A really fun morning.

We came back to my parents house and slept a few hours, got up and ate and fell asleep on the couch again. We basically spent all of Friday in comfy clothes and catching up on episodes of Fringe from the last month. Oh, and eating pizza. Awesome day.

Nick left this morning though. I'm pretty psyched to see him again this weekend in New York City. My sister and I try to go every once in a while when someone from her work charters a bus for a day trip to NYC. She booked it again like three months ago for this upcoming Saturday, December 5th. Nick's birthday is Wednesday so I had the idea that maybe I could just change the bus ticket into a one way to NYC for Saturday and come back Sunday night instead. I've never spent the night in New York City before. It worked out well- My sister Tina and I are going to hang out all day Saturday. Nick is going to drive in and take the subway the rest if the way in on Saturday (since Groton, CT is only 2 hours away) and meet up with me for dinner when Tina takes the bus back that night at 6:15. We're going to see Shrek on Broadway (yay! our fist Broadway show!), stay at a military hotel which was a third of the cost of every other motel there and I can go back Sunday night.

It will be a nice way to celebrate his birthday and spend some time together. I still already miss him like crazy. It's sad to see all his stuff from this weekend gone when I came home from work today. Ugh.....two months from this Friday until Hawaii. It needs to come faster- it's way too cold here.

It's been a week now since I last saw Nick. Man, do I miss that boy.

Last summer when he was stationed in Panama City and I was in school we went two months without seeing each other. At that point though we hadn't been together super long. I truly believe it's SOOO much harder now that we have lived together the last year.

I went to Canton tonight, an area in downtown Baltimore, but left after two hours. It was really nice to catch up with my old best friend Tony, but being there with random 90's rap songs playing in the second floor of Coburn's I really just missed Nick.

At least I know there are only three weeks until Thanksgiving when I'll see him again. I just can't believe how hard this is. I can't imagine how hard deployment is going to be. It seems worse being here though because I feel almost like I've been dropped off and left behind. Which of course isn't the case. But it just feels so weird being back in my parents' house and by myself (at least I have the dog fortunately!).

Alright. I'm complainey tonight. Sorry. At least he isn't deployed. At least I can call him if I need to. I just can't wait to be living with him again. The warm weather would be kinda nice too...